I was astonished to learn that this fellow is a junior Senator in more than just name.
The Senator is 42 years old. He was born in December of 1970. Just a stripling of a lad, actually.
He doesn't exactly have a "young" vibe about him. He presents himself as a serious man. A seasoned statesman of great principle. He could pass for 52.
Below the jump is a list of 11 things older than the Honorable Mr Cruz.
#11 Bar Codes
The bar code was invented in 1969.
#10 Rainn Wilson
Yep... Dwight Shrute of Dunder Mifflin... older than Ted Cruz.
#9 Chris Rock
The stand up legend and movie star is older than Ted Cruz.
#8 Daryl Dixon
Actor Norman Mark Reedus, who portrays the flinty-eyed crossbow weilding Daryl Dixon in The Walking Dead, is also older than Cruz.
#7 ATMs
Automatic Teller Machines have been around about a year longer than Ted Cruz.
#6 Trey Parker
Co-creator of South Park, and the voice of Eric Cartman? Older than Ted Cruz.
Don't let your head explode just yet. There are five more items on the list.
(For the record, Matt Stone is about a year younger than the Senator.)
#5 Flo (from Progressive Insurance)
Actor/comic Stephanie Courtney, who portrays the relentlessly perky Flo for Progressive Insurance, is also older than Ted Cruz.
#4 Almost All of the Main Cast of Saving Private Ryan
Tom Hanks and Tom Sizemore may be obvious.... but Matt Damon, Vin Diesel, Ed Burns, Adam Goldberg, and Barry Pepper? Are also older than Ted Cruz.
Only Giovanni Ribisi is younger.
#3 More of the Musicians on Your MP3 Player Than You Think
All of the original members of...
Guns N Roses...
Pearl Jam...
Soundgarden...
and the Red Hot Chili Peppers...
...are all older than Ted Cruz.
But that's not all...
...every person who has ever been a member of Metallica? Older than Ted Cruz. I [bleep] you not.
#2 Carrot Top
Don't overthink this one, but the polarizing prop comic (whose real name is Scott Thompson) is also older than Ted Cruz.
And finally....
#1 The Internet
On October 29, 1969, the first ARPANET link was established. Making the internet over one year older than Senator Ted Cruz. LINK
The Point?
The point is this...
Ted Cruz may want to be percieved as a seasoned and worldly statesman. But really, he's just a punk-ass in a nice suit. Never forget that.
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| "I know you are, but what am I?!?!" |
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