Nerditorial: An Open Letter to the Righteously Indignant

Dear Self-Righteous Douchehats Who Want To Have A Serious Discussion About Gun Control Right Goddamn Now,

Find enclosed with this letter a 55 Gallon Drum of Pickled [Sexual Organs].

While you are waiting for the rest of us mere mortals to make ready for such a serious conversation, I would consider it a personal favor if you would kindly suck these [Sexual Organs] in their entirety in any manner you deem appropriate. Feel free to employ all manner of [Sexual Organ] sucking technique as you do so. 

And then suck on the drum.

So, you want to talk about gun control in response to the Newtown Connecticut tragedy. And you want to deal with it right [Very Bad Word] now.

Too bad.

What you want can wait.

As I have already mentioned briefly (and much more calmly) on Facebook, the folks who were actually directly affected by the tragedy are currently going through the slow, painful, and healing process of grieving their unimaginable loss.

But you don't want to wait for that... some of you out there are making this all about you.

Well, since you just have to run your mouths right now, why don't you run your mouths over 55 gallons of pickled, briny [Sexual Organs] while the rest of us demonstrate that we were raised right.

There is no way in hell that we as a nation can just instantly squeeze meaningful gun control legislation out of our asses just to satisfy you spleen venting [Committers of Maternal Incest].

The people who have legitimate reason to be indignant about this are grieving as fast as they can. And they will get back to us about having a debate on gun control just as soon as they finish shopping for coffins.

Shame on you.

Shane Roth
Bellingham, Washington.

P.S. The special brand of [Sexual Organs] that have the capability of sucking themselves were, regrettably, on back-order. I apologize for any inconvenience this causes you [Super Extra Bad Word]s.