It was unclear if the WDF was going to just retire the position entirely. Until now.
"We have a Douche!" announced the President of the WDF Executive Board at a press conference held outside of the Los Angeles office of the WDF, "and his name is Mitt Romney."
A video of Mitt Romney speaking before a WDF convention in Boca Raton, Florida was released by Mother Jones recently. Shortly after this video went viral, the most respected group of certified douche-bags, douche-hats, douche-nozzles, and grandmaster douche-wads gathered in the fastness of the mysterious and secret WDF global headquarters (known only as the Hall of Douche) to deliberate on the impact this video would have on Romney's already impressive ranking in the WDF.
"To give you a sense of how high the standard is for being ranked the number one living douche," said WDF President and sanity-crippling reality television celebrity Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, "Rush Limbaugh doesn't qualify."
President Sorrentino, naturally, conducted the entire interview while displaying his abs. Sorrentino became WDF President by defeating former President Spencer Pratt in a Trial by Douche contest which was staged in a non-extradition country that the WDF refuses to identify to this day.
While Romney has been a member in good standing of the WDF for years, only recently did he crack the top 100.
"It is important to realize how easy it is to be a douche when you are as wealthy as Romney is. In order to be considered The Douche, your douchebaggery must be epic and transcendent," said Sorrentino, who clearly didn't know the definition of any of the words he was reading from his index cards.
Romney has been a rising star in the douche community in 2012. His vanity, hypocrisy, obliviousness, callousness, and stubbornness were on full display this year as he coldly and pathologically shivved every competitor standing between himself and the GOP nomination for President.
"Oddly, all of the actions prior to Mother Jones releasing the Boca Raton video," said Sorrentino, "the $10,000 bet, the you-people remark, the other you-people remark, his overseas Step-On-A-Rake marathon this summer, his failure to mention the troops in his acceptance speech, the tax return thing... they didn't even get him into the top 10 contenders for the number one position. But after that video... damn... he is now such a douche that if you get within one hundred yards of the dude, you can smell vinegar."
Ironically, Romney's International Douche Ranking prior to the Mother Jones video story was 47. He was ranked below the Chick-Fil-A dude and above whoever the hell wrote Fifty Shades of Grey.
The top ten contenders for the number one ranked douche are: Rush Limbaugh, George W Bush, Mel Gibson, the guy who cancelled Firefly, Rahm Emmanuel, Rupert Murdoch, Glenn Beck, Micheal Vick, Mark Zuckerberg, and Rush Limbaugh.
The complex and often self-contradictory bylaws of the WDF actually allow for Rush Limbaugh to told more than one ranking at a time. No one outside of the WDF knows, or cares, why.
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