Woe to You Oh Earth and Sea
for the Devil sends the beast with wrath
because he knows the time is short... (The Number of the Beast, Iron Maiden)
It may have come to your attention, dear reader, that Mitt Romney's campaign is flopping like a clown shoe.
And I'm one of many enjoying this cluster-[bleep] in its full schadenfreude splendor.
But lets bear some things in mind while we laugh along with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert
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President Obama does not have the election cinched.
I don't mean he doesn't have the election cinched just yet. I mean he doesn't have it cinched at all.
Any victory laps taken right now, by the left, ignore the tsunami-sized waves of PAC money that will hit the airwaves like the coast line of Japan in the coming weeks and months.
I am getting my full Recommended Daily Allowance of e-mail requests for donations from the Democratic Party, and the hilarity that is the Ryan Rollout is not leading me to believe that the desperate cry for financial help is exaggerated.
Every conservative with a so-big-it-has-its-own-gravity-well checking account is signing big ass checks to Romney's campaign. And is signing even more checks now that Paul "[bleep] Medicare" Ryan is on the ticket.
The Obama campaign will be outspent, and this nation will see an ad blitz of Book-of-Revelations proportions. And do not underestimate the power of the nasty political ad.
We Have Met The Enemy And He Is Emo-Prog
I know some emo-progs (that is a derogative term to describe those progressives who are holding the Democratic party to some dumb-ass purity standard that no actual candidate will ever achieve) who have stated that they will not vote for Obama because of [Insert Imperfect Decision Obama Made Here].
And while it is not an overwhelming number, it is enough to scare me.
Anyone who thinks that conservatives are particularly prone to voting against their own interests has not studied the left end of the political spectrum too closely.
Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory is a political gymnastic move that the emo-progs have perfected to the point where they can execute the move so gracefully that they can effortlessly stick it like Olympic Gold Medalist Gabby Douglas.
Unfortunately, the prize for such a feat includes things like... an 8 year term for George W Bush, and a Supreme Court that has been so loaded with conservative ass-hats over the last 30 years that it would take a generation to undo the damage even if the GOP were kept out of the White House for 20 years.
One would think that the progressives would look at the prospect of allowing a GOP controlled White House as so horrifying, particularly so soon after the disastrous Bush Administration, that support for re-election of President Obama among progressives would be a mile wide and a mile deep.
But one would be wrong.
I am more worried about the progressive end of the electorate throwing the White House to Romney than I am about the conservative end of the electorate achieving the same feat.
You see, when the conservatives are in disarray, it compromises their performance as a voting block.
Progressives, on the other hand, function in disarray by default. So, if the progressives want to deny President Obama a second term, they could achieve this in a state of disarray.
Its Not Just About The Presidential Race
You do realize that there are Congressional and Senate races, right?
Don't nod your head, because I don't think you do.
And I also don't think you realize that there are state level and municipal level races at stake, all of which are as important as the White House.
At the Congressional and Senate levels, we have a race in Washington for a new congressional district that is anything but a lock for any party, and the GOP has wayyyyyy more money that the Dems do.
Maria Cantwell's seat looks secure... but I will believe that after I see evidence that she has won re-election. Til then... she needs every dollar she can get.
At the State level, there is the matter of who becomes Governor.
While Jay Inslee performed very well in the Primary... McKenna is perhaps the most well-coined of the politicians running for office this year. Again, Jay will need every dollar he can get to win this year.
Moving on, locally, there is the matter of the 42nd district and the races between Matt Krogh and Vincent Buys, as well as the race between Natalie McClendon and Jason Overstreet.
There is no reason to believe that Matt or Natalie are burdened with an excess of ready money. The are both on a path to being outspent by their opponents.
It is an uphill climb to defeat an opponent who is well-funded. It is also an uphill climb to defeat an opponent who is an incumbent. So the path to holding office for Matt and Natalie is going to be a hard one every day until the ballots are counted.
Both Matt Krogh and Natalie McClendon need every dollar THEY can get.
And Mitt Romney's record-breaking sustained gaffes are not going to benefit any of these Washington races. At all.
Most Importantly... Lies Work
You do realize that the lies are flying thick, fast, and plump, right?
And that that is just a sampling... a preview of coming attractions, right?
No, again, I don't think you do.
Stop nodding. Seriously.
Romney is not the only candidate who will lie right to your face... over and over again... to get elected.
McKenna will lie. Over and over again.
Whoever the hell is running in the new Congressional District will lie. Over and over again.
Buys and Overstreet will lie. Over and over again.
And with clever use of media and an overwhelming number of ads throwing disinformation around so thickly that the electorate won't be able to see the truth even if it was 5 inches in front of their face... the electorate is entirely capable of being fooled just long enough to throw too many races to too many conservatives.
The lies being flung about now are just the trailer... this fall comes the Micheal Bay blockbuster, in Real-3D.
Bear in mind that the folks with the gravity-well checking accounts...?
They have enough money to give to Romney... and McKenna... and Buys... and Overstreet...
...and whoever the hell else they like.
They threw literally millions of dollars at Wisconsin to blatantly purchase the Governor's Mansion in Wisconsin, in front of every one and their uncle. And they are still cutting checks.
So, while you are enjoying the screw ups being served up by the feckless Romney campaign... just remember... they can afford these screw ups because they have the best friend a politician can rely upon...
...ready money.
Now, don't everyone grab your checkbooks all at once now... I'm sure there is more funny stuff that Romney said or Ryan said to distract you.
If Only There Was Something You Could Do...
Oh, wait. There is.
You can cough up some money.
Progressives... I say to you...
...you can pay for the outcome of this election now... or you can pay later...
...but you and I will definitely pay one way or the other.
Everything we hold dear is on the line now.
That money you were saving for a rainy day?
Guess what...
...it's starting to pour.
Give to McClendon.
Give to Krogh.
Give to DelBene.
Give to Inslee.
Give to Cantwell.
Give to Obama.
Give to the Democratic Party locally.
Give to the Democratic Party at the State level.
Give to the Democratic Party at the national level.
If you want to enjoy the circus... fine... but these folks need your bread. Badly.
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