Discovery of an email exchange among GOP State Senators led to the august body of state legislators being granted a rarely awarded international ranking by the mysterious World Douche Federation this week.
E-mail documenting the legendary douchebaggery of the GOP State Senators and their equally douche-y staff set the international douche-erazzi on fire. The tightly knit community of certified douche-bags, douche-hats, douche-nozzles, and grandmaster douche-wads was already closely following the actions of these aggressive up and coming douche-weeds since February of this year.
"This is a remarkable achievement of douchebaggery," said WDF president and inexplicable television celebrity Spencer Pratt, "We normally don't give an international ranking to a group that acts on such a regional scale of douche. But the way they went from Douche-Con 5 to Douche-Con 1, skipping all three conditions in between, was a masterpiece of douchebaggery."
"In honor of the Senators being from Wisconsin, we are officially calling them Douche-Badgers," said Pratt smugly, following up with, "Get it? Because Wisconsin is the Badger State. Get it?"
In true douche fashion, Pratt then laughed first and loudest at his own lame-ass pun.
Pratt, the youngest person ever to preside over the WDF, attained his status as Arch-Douche by managing to single-handedly out-douche every other member of the cast of the profoundly douche-y reality show The Hills.
Looking at excerpts from the email exchange, it is easy to see why the WDF has embraced the GOP Senators in Wisconsin:
To read more about the Wisconsin's GOP Senator's actions, read the Wisconsin State Journal website here.
When asked why Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker as of yet remains unranked, Pratt replied, "Hey, we may be douche-bags, but even we have standards."
The Wisconsin Senate Republicans currently hold a rank just above that of the entire cast of Jersey Shore and just below that of the Sham-WOW! guy.
The WDF's vaunted number one ranked position remains empty, and hotly contested, since the death of George Steinbrenner.
E-mail documenting the legendary douchebaggery of the GOP State Senators and their equally douche-y staff set the international douche-erazzi on fire. The tightly knit community of certified douche-bags, douche-hats, douche-nozzles, and grandmaster douche-wads was already closely following the actions of these aggressive up and coming douche-weeds since February of this year.
"This is a remarkable achievement of douchebaggery," said WDF president and inexplicable television celebrity Spencer Pratt, "We normally don't give an international ranking to a group that acts on such a regional scale of douche. But the way they went from Douche-Con 5 to Douche-Con 1, skipping all three conditions in between, was a masterpiece of douchebaggery."
"In honor of the Senators being from Wisconsin, we are officially calling them Douche-Badgers," said Pratt smugly, following up with, "Get it? Because Wisconsin is the Badger State. Get it?"
In true douche fashion, Pratt then laughed first and loudest at his own lame-ass pun.
Pratt, the youngest person ever to preside over the WDF, attained his status as Arch-Douche by managing to single-handedly out-douche every other member of the cast of the profoundly douche-y reality show The Hills.
Looking at excerpts from the email exchange, it is easy to see why the WDF has embraced the GOP Senators in Wisconsin:
"I would just be somewhat cautious in whatever we do so that it doesn't end up creating sympathy for the Dems," Tad Ottman, a Fitzgerald aide, wrote to his chief of staff John Hogan on Feb. 20.
"I say we not only make it hurt for them, we have to make it hurt for their staff as well," [Fitzgerald legislative aide Rob] Richard wrote on Feb. 20.
One idea Ottman suggested in a Feb. 20 email was cutting the size of each Democratic senator's staff by one person "since one person from each of their office is failing to show up for work (the Senator)."
To read more about the Wisconsin's GOP Senator's actions, read the Wisconsin State Journal website here.
When asked why Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker as of yet remains unranked, Pratt replied, "Hey, we may be douche-bags, but even we have standards."
The Wisconsin Senate Republicans currently hold a rank just above that of the entire cast of Jersey Shore and just below that of the Sham-WOW! guy.
The WDF's vaunted number one ranked position remains empty, and hotly contested, since the death of George Steinbrenner.
What did the Sham-WOW guy ever do to deserve that?
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